I haven't wrote in a while. That's my bad. There is a lot going on. I'll start with the end of school.
I did good on all my finals except math, which I did pretty bad on. I ended up getting a "C" in the class. Now normally this wouldn't be a problem, but, my parents have a no C policy. So I ended up just telling the, i got a B so I wouldn't get yelled at and feel worse about myself.
Then there is the job situation. My dad wants me to get a job. But I'm still 14 until the 30th so by then what's the point in getting a "summer" job more than halfway through summer? But Dad thinks I'm Lazy. But he never gets on my sister who, is a year older than me. So I don't get that logic.
It's going to be the first summer, my first birthday, without two parents in the same house. I didn't think i'd take it as hard as i am. But it gets to me. July 31st was their wedding anniversary. So, I don't know what will happen then.
This summer i thought would change me. I would be a happier person. But right now, im hiding my tears and sadness behind a fake smile. No one has noticed yet. I could be sharing that to people, but wait. No one reads this. It seems like no one cares.
That brings me to the next thing. I fell forgotten. Like no one cares. I've been like that for a while, but it's worse now. I haven't talked to anybody from school, and no one wants to hang out or anything. But on my behalf I am really shy and i don't like being in large groups of people. But i feel forgotten.
I feel that way because i don't get texts from anyone, even if i text them first. People delete my phone numbers. The worst part is, when I'm texting people, they just leave after five minutes (if that) of talking. So i feel alone. I feel no one cares enough to even carry on a five minute conversation with me and it hurts really bad. I don't feel wanted, or accepted. Sometimes I feel stupid and dumb for even thinking people care anymore.
I also don't sleep. It could be because I'm scared of many things, and i think of all the things that I said before.
I just want to be happy. I don't even know how to happy anymore. I just don't know.
What's the point if no one even wants to carry on a five minute conversation with me. I feel that it's even my fault they don't want to talk to me. It probably is anyway. I just feel useless and alone and I don't know how to fix that.
