Today was somewhat better. I had my championship hockey game today. We won which i was really happy about, but not everything went well. I messes up my leg which i can still walk around and move but it hurts. I also went headfirst into the boards while trying to get the puck. So my head has been hurting non stop, which sucks because i just recovered from a concussion and the last thing i need is another one. But not only that, we (as a team) went to SmashBurger for lunch. and everyone was doing the "Salt and Ice" challenge. I didn't want to do it, but guess who no has a weird welt kinda thing and it stings really bad. So yeah, good day...
But Things sorta got better. I went out to see the Colorado Mammoth game. We lost horribly, but it was fun. I had never been before so it was pretty cool. I was just tired and couldn't focus too much.
And as for my depressing rant post i had the other day, things are still pretty much the same.
Think of it as like this:
Your playing a sport. Take Hockey. Your skating down the ice and you get a beautiful pass and all you have to do is put it in the wide open net to win or the team. But you miss. Soon everyone is pissed at you and mad at you and hates you for everything you've done. You should just leave before you mess anything else up...
That's how I feel. That i will mess up something so badly, ill just wind up where i started off. Alone. Without any friends. Without anyone who cares. And sometimes I think, why not just go and spare everyone's happiness? It just bugs me.
I guess you can say, i'm over thinking things, or you could say "You never do anything like that", because i know that is Bull.
What i'm trying to say is, i'm not ok. I don't know when ill be ok, I don't know if ill be ok. I'm finding it hard to get though everyday now. and i hate it...
But ill keep posting because right now, it seems like This is the way to happiness...
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